Did you know that adulterous, sexual, love affairs begin because people ignore this innate truth – God is interested in where we went? Ok, let me break this down. Jasmie meet me at the Mr Biggs affair does not begin at the Mr. Biggs.
Affairs have three stages. The first stage is the conversation stage. The conversation stage is when you are just talking to someone. “Hi, how are you doing?” “Is Janney in the office?” “Did you finish that project?”
There is nothing wrong with conversing with people, even of the opposite sex. BUT, there is a problem when you begin to have intimate discussions with this person. Intimate discussion includes things that reveal who you are, what you are really thinking deep down inside, where you want to go with your future, how your marriage really works. Those discussions are best between a husband and wife. No one should know you intimately but your spouse. Save yourself from the next stage, keep those discussions for your spouse.
The next stage is the friendship stage. Once you start giving up intimate information about yourself, now you have established that person as a friend. A friend becomes emotionally wrapped in you life. Sometimes you don’t realize that you have jumped from the conversation to the friendship stage. BUT, you know you have when you are inviting the person to lunch at Mr Biggs or any other eateries. You want to experience things like the movies, amusement parks, walks on the boardwalk with this person. You begin to seek out this person for conversation or good company. You genuinely like this person.
Now, if you have fallen into this stage, don’t be alarmed. BUT, stop it now. Back-pedal, it’s ok to back-pedal. Cut this person from your self. Yea, I do mean your self. See the friendship stage is when the person becomes an imprint onto your life. You are thinking about this person waaaay too much. So, cut it clean now – start being unavailable for lunch. Stop looking for that person to have a conversation. Stop constantly thinking about that person. Give that person over to God and stay far away. And, yes, if you must do it cruelly, then so be it. Nothing is more important than honoring God by honoring your spouse.
Now, the final stage is the sexual stage. This is the one everyone associates with adultery. This is two people rolling around in the sheets stage. This is the big one. The having sex with someone other than my spouse stage. I will not talk about what constitutes sex here. But, give me some leeway – it’s sex and all that sex encompasses is what I mean. So, sex is the final stage. The sexual stage can not be reached without proceeding through the other two stages. An affair has an arch. The arch includes the conversation, friendship, and sexual stages. When one who looks at the beginning of the sexual part of their affair, they will notice that they cleared the hurdles of the first two stages. If you happen to find yourself in this stage, get out now!!! Find a good marriage counselor and let God heal your marriage. He can and He wants to do it for you and especially for His reputation.
Enough said there. So, it’s time for us to reflect. Did I please you God this week? And, please forgive me for and save me from where I did wrong my soul. Now, of course it is time for me to try these stages out on my spouse. Here I come honey.
Ponder on this message.
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